The dragon swooped low over the village, sending all of the maidens scurrying for cover. Not to mention all the matrons, children, grown men, and anybody else who was about.  

    He cornered Maura in the churchyard. “Someone go find St. George,” she yelled, cowering behind a tombstone.  

    The dragon leered. “I had St. George for breakfast,” he said, indicating the remains scattered nearby.  

    “And I’ll have you for lunch,” he added, lunging for her.    

    “Oh, hell,” said Maura. “I guess I’ll have to rescue myself.” She dropped to the ground and kicked the dragon in the groin. Hard.  

    Now it’s a little known fact that male dragons, like the males of most species, are very tender in the testicular area. In fact, most people aren’t even aware that dragons have testicles. This is because the Victorians have written most of the dragon stories up to now and they didn’t want to discuss such delicate subjects.  

    Anyway, as soon as Maura kicked him, he doubled over in pain, giving her a nice shot at the unarmored spot on the underside of his neck. She drove a foot into that as well, and then, rolling to her side, found George’s sword and stuck it through the dragon’s neck for good measure. (It’s not a good idea to walk away from live dragons, no matter how injured they are.)  

    The villagers were very grateful and honored Maura with all the usual parades and statues and things. The death of St. George was hushed up, though, so he still gets all the credit. But in one small village the stories have been handed down over the generations and they know who really killed the dragon.

 
This story first appeared in Sword & Sorceress VII in 1990.

copyright 1990 Nancy Jane Moore

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