Too much of
a good thing
... is magic.
CHAPTER 34
“Why may I not dine with you?” Randy said again, while Jewel pawed through her closet for day-off clothes that didn’t say “slut.”
“Because,” Jewel said, exasperated, “you’re not invited?”
“Clay Dawes is invited. You go everywhere with him.”
“He’s my partner now.” For the second night in a row she’d had no sleep. She pulled on a scoop-neck, black, silk top. Would Clay get the wrong idea from this top? She’d never worried about any man’s opinion before a con man got permanently in her hair.
Randy pouted. “I know what ‘partner’ means in this century. It means ‘mistress.’ But you are with me.”
Clingy, clingy, clingy. Just because they’d spent thirty-six hours in bed.
“I need a work partner. Department rule. I haven’t had one for a while, and I didn’t have one when I met you, but it was inevitable, Randy,” she said, hearing the wheedle in her voice and hating it. See, this is why I never get serious with a guy. “Believe me, I’m not happy either.”
“A week ago you thought he was a criminal.”
“He’s still a criminal.” And at the first wrong step, she would have no hesitation turning him in. She hoped.
“This top is too low.” She pulled it off and threw it in the laundry.
“The man is a born prevaricator.”
“Whereas you learned lying when you became a sex demon.” No red, definitely no spaghetti straps. How had she come to own an all-slut weekend wardrobe? It would have to be navy polyester. “Ugh.”
“So if he’s no better than I, why may I not go?”
She sighed. How am I going to stand having this big baby in my life? He’s bratty and clingy and he’s driving me crazy. Thank God, Clay’s my partner. I don’t think I can take much of Randy unchaperoned for long. Shocking thought.
“Please.”
She hated when he said “please” because he was so god-awful bad at it. She confessed, “I can’t deal with the antler-clashing.”
Randy studied her. His brow cleared. “Antler—oh. I see. Very well. I promise not to dispute with Clay.”
She rolled her eyes. “Groovy. Now can you promise Clay won’t dispute with you?” The navy polyester was hideous. That was why she wore it to work. With a sigh, she shucked it.
Randy looked at her through his lashes. “I possess self-control, as you are aware.”
“Well, I’m losing mine. Nina doesn’t know who you are. She was too busy canoodling with Ed to take a good look at you at the dump, but if you’re at her supper table she will look. She will know. If she ever finds out how the curse’s sting works, how long do you think before she starts scheming to get you stuck in another bed?”
He blinked. “Surely she is reconciled with her husband.”
“So? I have multiple sex partners. Ed’s had affairs for years. Do you believe in Nina’s self-control? ’Cuz I don’t.”
He scowled. “Hm.”
“Am I getting through to you now?” God, I’m a harpy. I own this guy and I love it and now I’m getting savage about the competition. She slid back into the black, silk, scoop-neck top and a pair of tight stretch jeans and looked in the mirror. Slut.
But Randy looked thoughtful. “Yes. Yes, I see.”
“Good.” She sucked in a long breath and held it. Some guys like a woman with a stomach. Uh-huh. Couple of quick twists and the hair was up in a French knot.
“Be careful what you tell Nina,” he commanded.
She crossed her fingers. This was Nina they were talking about, who needed no thumbscrews to extract information. “Yup.”
“And when you come back we will discuss this matter of multiple sex partners.”
With her keys in her hand and the door open, she eyed him. “You’re still a lord in there somewhere, aren’t you.”
He looked down his nose. “But of course.”
“Well, welcome to the twenty-first century, bub. You don’t own anybody and I don’t own anybody, spell or no spell. I intend to make you acquainted with all the horrors of feminism.”
On the last word she shut the door and scrammed.
oOo
She picked Clay up at the Drake. He tried to kiss her.
“Behave, you,” she said halfheartedly.
“Sorry. Got carried away. That’s some shirt you’re almost wearing.” He squeezed her shoulder and she pushed him away.
“These are my weekend clothes. When I want you to maul me, I’ll tell you.”
“God, I hope so.”
That was easy, she thought. If she could organize Clay, she might enjoy having him around.
A kid on a bicycle was crossing Michigan, heedless of traffic. She stopped the Tercel with a screech. “Buzz!”
“What the—?” Clay said.
Buzz looked over his shoulder and blushed. “Officer Jewel.”
Jewel scrawled and tore a sheet off her dashboard pad. “Here.”
Buzz squinted at it. “Your digits?” He leaned closer and looked down her low-cut top. “What is this, like, a pass?”
She rolled her eyes. “As if. I’m practically your mother. I’m giving it to you in case—in case you need help.” Any day now, he could be busted. It was a miracle the law hadn’t caught up with him. “Put it in your pocket.”
What am I doing?! she was screaming inside. I can barely stand having Randy around, and now I have a partner, too! I don’t need more strays! “Gotta run. Call if—if you need to.”
She gunned the Tercel and peeled out, leaving Buzz staring after her with his zitty trap hanging open.
“Interesting. More prayers against homelessness?” Clay said, and she ignored him. She was figuring out that she liked having strays. She just had to be picky.
oOo
Nina was enjoying an ecstasy of domestic bliss. She fluttered from kitchen to dining room at warp speed. The boys played video games. Her daughter actually helped Jewel and Clay set the table. And Ed, her wonderful, glorious, pain-in-the-butt husband, watched TV from his lounger in the living room. She filled another bowl with homemade Chex mix and brought it to him.
“Supper in fifteen minutes,” she said.
Ed’s gaze was locked on the screen. His hand went to the fresh bowl of Chex mix. “How ’bout another beer.”
So that’s how long the sugar lasts. Nina picked up the dirty bowl and turned to leave, trying not to feel bitter.
His arm snaked out. He grabbed her around the waist and yanked her into his lap. Then he mashed her, long and slow. When she came up for air, his eyes were gleaming.
She sighed happily. Her mouth tasted like Chex mix and horny Ed. “ ’Nother beer then?”
“Wanna tell you something,” he said.
She settled deeper into his lap. “What.”
“Know that night in the van?”
She smiled. “I remember.” She wriggled against his boner.
He squeezed. “Why I did it in the van like that? It’s because, I know how you and Jewel talk. Girl stuff. She’s, I mean, everybody says she’s, uh, you know, adventurous. Of course she needs fuckin’ therapy, but you got your head screwed on straight.” He took a deep breath and put on his “hero” face. “So. I thought. A red-hot sexy firecracker mama number like my wife, she needs some stimulating fun unique new adventurous—different— type—unusual thing. Things. If. If you like that stuff.”
She laughed out loud.
“What.” He sounded all, I don’t have to take this abuse.
She put her forehead against his. “I loved it.” She kissed him on the nose. “Any time. Any time.”
Her spouse looked relieved. “How about that beer?” he said hoarsely.
She snickered and struggled out of his lap, making sure to press on his boner.
“While you’re up, can you check is that taxi still sitting out front?” Ed had a horror of being followed home from work by a disgruntled taxi driver. She guessed he met a lot of them.
“But it’s Sunday.” She went to the window.
Across the street, a taxi idled. A passenger sat in back. When she pulled back the drapes, the passenger’s head turned, as if he had been watching the house.
“I’ll go,” she said.
Hackles up, she banged out the front door and marched across the street. She’d beat up anybody who bothered her husband.
“Hello?” she said aggressively. “Can I help you?”
The passenger shrank back. The whites of his eyes showed.
“Do I have to call the police?”
He shook his head. Damn, he looked familiar. He said in an English accent, “There is no cause for alarm. I’m waiting for Jewel Heiss.”
All of a sudden Nina got it.
“You’re him.”
She went hot all over. The guy from the bed! Holy crap.
Jewel must have done something, who knew what, and got him out of there before Ed smashed the bed into a pretzel. Count on Jewel to save the baby and throw out the bathwater.
Nina grinned.
He bent his head toward her and frowned. “I am whom?”
Don’t spook him. “You’re the guy Jewel said was coming later,” she said. She opened the taxi door for him. “Why didn’t you ring the doorbell? Come on in, we’re ready to eat.”
He hesitated. “I was not invited.”
“Sure you’re invited, I’m inviting you, what am I, chopped liver? You can’t wait out here all evening when I got a houseful of food, come on, come on, come on, come on.”
He got out and bowed real nice and she jollied him into the house.
“Who the fuck is this?” Ed said.
She shepherded the bed guy past him toward the kitchen. “He was in the taxi waiting for Jewel. You know her,” Nina muttered in her husband’s ear as they passed. “Always picking up strays.”
He stared at the bed guy. “Oh. Yeah. You were her cabbie that day at the office.”
“Supper’s almost on,” she said.
Whatever other thoughts Ed was having, he seemed to forget them. “Well it ain’t like she can’t feed you.” He turned back to his ball game.
Copyright @ 2008 by Jennifer Stevenson
First published by Ballantine Books, April 2008
www.jenniferstevenson.com
http://smokingpigeon.livejournal.com
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